The Horatio Hornblower Drinking Game

Horatio Hornblower Series on Telly

Bingo Mode (Everyone Must Pick 4 that they take a drink on)

  • A woman is seen or even mentioned in passing.
  • Someone Speaks French
  • Any Human Other than a White Male with Brown Hair is on Screen
  • Someone dies
  • “Aye Aye”
  • An Accent Other than English
  • Everyone Gets Hit by a huge wave
  • An English Officer Bleeds, gets injured, or Dies on Screen.
  • Anyone Gets Put in their Place Socially
  • A Cannon Gets Spiked
  • Someone Gets Flogged
  • You get to See Through a telescopic sight.
  • A person is shown swimming in the ocean.
  • Powder Monkeys are seen onscreen.
  • Anyone Climbs the Rigging.
  • A map, math  compass or protractor are used on screen.
  • A telescope is unfolded or folded.

 

 Everyone Drinks:

  1. A person on the show drinks.
  2. A bell is heard.
  3. A whistle is heard.

 

Everyone Finishes their Drinks

  1. Mutiny!
  2. A Ship Sinks
  3. Horatio Dives Overboard
  4. Anyone Surrenders to Anyone

Hard Mode:

 

  • Drink Once every time a Musket or Pistol Fires
  • Finish Drinks Anytime you See a close up of only Horatio’s Face.

 

Insane Mode:

  • Everyone Drinks any Time a Cannon Fires

Alcohol  Poisoning Mode:

  • Everyone Drinks any time a Cannon Appears On Screen.

De-Funding the Arts, or National Socialism: Which is it?

image

The recent news has focused on Federal appeals to de-fund the National Endowment for the Arts and how it sends a chilling effect on the arts. Story Time: A long time ago I volunteered a lot at a charity radio station that produced airwave material and put books on tape for visually impaired folks. Don’t worry, even though I tried to help other people, I’m still a republican. Having spent a good portion of my life there, since mom had been bringing me in since 1990, it drove a spike in my heart when the board decided to shut down.

How dare a charity that makes radio for blind people, that has been putting books on tape for them since 1976 shut down? What on earth would be the explanation for such a horrific at?

Get ready for a business lesson:

The board determined that the grants and funding they have could do more good for the visually impaired if directed to other sources such as the similar station in the state capitol. In the year 2014, with podcasts, internet radio, and internet audio book sites, with content that can be produced for free by the common person, the radio stations costs were unjustifiable and amounted to re-inventing the wheel, or the Ford Model T Assembly Line.

The Model T represents the charity radio station for the blind. In 1908, when the Model T first rolled out, the technology was breathtaking and affordable. At the end of the run in 1927, the Model T, though cheap, was vastly outdated and wildly behind the times for technology with better cheaper alternatives. Thus so with the radio station. With internet, it was no longer required.

The endowment began in 1965, just eleven years after the first Color Television Broadcast in North America. So in the current day, when CNN makes a news for Kids show online and any church sunday school can put a video on youtube in the blink of an eye, Any children’s television show like sesame street can be on Netflix, and any artist can put their work on Instagram, Youtube, Pinterest , heck, the entire Bob Ross series is on youtube now(don’t forget he did the show to promote and sell his own line of paints and brushes so stop pretending everyone on PBS has no agenda), does the government need to spend $146,000,000? If you do not like the current Republican run House, Senate, Executive office and Soon to be Supreme Court, you don’t want them controlling the direction of the arts, and if you do like them, you probably like the idea of gutting state sponsored creativity and new ideas, so win win, folks.

Especially if the concern for the future involves fascism. What does every fascist regime control? The Arts. The goal of a fascist regime is to promote and encourage pro-state artists, Mussolini made extreme efforts to promote pro-government art. 

Even now, by obsessing over the arts, you run the risk , for you socialists out there, of committing the crime Walter Benjamin described as “fetishizing the hand crafted object.”

Consider Berkeley’s discussion of cutting the chemistry department.STEM needs the help. Social Sciences / Art require very little to succeed compared to scientific programs, whose labs can be incredibly expensive compared to being a youtube star, which takes a phone which every human being in America already has.

So, government sponsored Art, a hallmark of fascist regimes, heads out the door. Celebrate.

So lets argue for it: Here’s Fred Rogers testifying before Congress. Children’s programming, hinges on the only purpose that justifiably proves the role of Public Television.  The political commentary fell short of solid analysis. The wikileaks e-mails showing that NPR reporters colluded with the campaign demonstrated they became not merely liberally biased, which they have always been to some extend, but absolute single party propagandists, going as far as listing the crowd interrupting chants during her speeches as ‘about 150 people chanting Bernie’ and ignoring the the suspicious presence of A) syllable by syllable counter chants for the seven or eight other yells and the fact there obviously were substantially more than 150 people doing it, makes me sad. Especially considering how even handed they started out in January, compared to how far on the slider they moved as November drew near.   It pains me to lose NPR funding, but they bet everything and their entire credibility on a Clinton victory and lost.  he last thing we need is more propaganda. Gone are Lewis Reukaiser and the McLoughlin group, shouting wild matches of different viewpoints and well informed political views (with one exception, Intelligence Squared) transforming instead into calm Soma pills of straw man discussions and the sort of ‘telling you what to think’ journalism that every other for profit station creates.

It is sad. They used to be so good, too.

 

 

Pat Progressive

Zir awakes at 6:00 AM and takes out his coffee permit, punches a hole in the tag and swipes it in his Coffee Pot. The cup fills, for water conservation purposes unable to hold more than 8 oz of water, with coffee that by law cannot to be heated beyond 110 Farenheit.

Because zir currently has no job, it must, by law, undergo sex conversion therapy, since its hormone balances gave it an unfair advantage in finding manual labor jobs.

After a hearty breakfast of grey NutroGov goop, an FDA created tube of paste that is the only food allowed in America because it offends nobody, is non allergenic, gluten free, harvested from the excrement of a bacteria created in a lab in California proven to provide each Petri Dish an hour of therapy per day, Pat walks outside, but not for too long because the CO2 exhaled out doors affects climate change and also the sunlight gives him an unregulated amount of vitamin D, providing an unfair advantage over agorophobic hermits.

Three miles later(walking, cars are banned, and bicycles travel too fast and can startle small children).  Pat reaches the checkpoint. Here Pat shows his papers and rehearses the principle tenets of every religion in the world except Christiniaty. He forgets the name of the main deity in Zoroastrianism and is fined $100. Luckily Pats check from the government shows up that day so Pat can cover the balance. It’s okay, conservatives, Pat gets the government check because he is in the military.

At the military base Pat does his job, Pats MOS is 11b, Infantry. Pat goes to dangerous parts of the world and talks to people about their parents and gives back massages to enemies of America to soothe them. Pat loads up his M-16 moisture dispenser and goes to the range to practice dispersing similar amounts of ointment to various body parts. The newest recruits are there,  a great day for the military, for the first quadraplegic wheelchair bound citizen has qualified as an Aircraft Mechanic. On the parade ground soldiers are sitting peacefully at parade rest, over head a bird flies. There are no airplanes because oil is banned.

The nation is at war. Five teenagers found a book from 2010, a dark time when angry mean people had control, and in it learned how to devise a terrible weapon called “a slingshot.” Holed up in a treehouse near the base, they wiped out an entire SEAL team, sending them into full retreat using forbidden, illegal weaponry. Commander Sanchez-Lufuipy-Freedom-Allydingez still has PTSD from the paper airplane that struck zir in the back as zir fled.

Outside on the dirt road(asphalt is reserved for neighborhoods of government officials) a construction team pushes Tonka Trucks back and forth, one of them, a young human of only twelve, asks to play with one of the barbie dolls another human has.

Obviously this ones parents are influencing gender roles from the dark past. Corrective surgery is the only option.

On the way home, a local news broadcast tower issues the weather broadcast. Across the road the conservative broadcast tower(dissenting viewpoints are only permitted on the subject of weather forecasts) decries the progressive prediction of 40% chance of rain, when in fact they should be saying a 60% chance of no rain. This keeps Pat informed from both sides of the political aisle.

At home with 18 cats, Pat switches to listen to some music. The song is “Blissful Noises”  twenty two hours blaring a single note in E. Pat closes the shutters on the windows to prevent unfair sunlight, and goes to the sleeping compartment. Pat must get sleep, in between the war next week with the teenagers and the big election between Candidate 1 and Candidate 2 (names policies and other information are banned as they provide unfair bias) there is much to think about.

This all in response to:

 

John Gray’s Essay: Day of a Republican: Joe gets up at 6:00 AM to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot full of good clean drinking water because some liberal fought for minimum water quality standards. He takes his daily medication with his first swallow of coffee. His medications are safe to take because some liberal fought to insure their safety and work as advertised.

All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employers medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance, now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs this day. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because some liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

Joe takes his morning shower reaching for his shampoo; His bottle is properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount of its contents because some liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some tree hugging liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government subsidized ride to work; it saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees. You see, some liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day; he has a good job with excellent pay, medicals benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe’s employer pays these standards because Joe’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he’ll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some liberal didn’t think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It’s noon time, Joe needs to make a Bank Deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some liberal wanted to protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten Mortgage and his below market federal student loan because some stupid liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his life-time.

Joe is home from work, he plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive to dad’s; his car is among the safest in the world because some liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans. The house didn’t have electric until some big government liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification. (Those rural Republicans would still be sitting in the dark.)

He is happy to see his dad who is now retired. His dad lives on Social Security and his union pension because some liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn’t have to.

After his visit with dad he gets back in his car for the ride home.

He turns on a radio talk show. The host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. (He doesn’t tell Joe that his beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day)

Joe agrees. “We don’t need those big government liberals ruining our lives; after all, I’m a self made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have.”

It is time to send Asian People to Prison for Absolutely No Reason

Today I was looking at the racial disparity in Prison populations.

 

Despite making up 5.6 % of the United States Population, Asian Americans are only 1.5 % of our Prison population. This is pure racism, and it is time to correct this.

What I propose is we start taking an equal slice of our graduating classes of every high school in America, and send approximately 2% of the Asian kids to Prison. Just for a year. We only need to send them in once and below quota because over time recidivism rates will mean some of the ones we send will end up going back in.

Or Perhaps the quota could be adjusted to the current criminal Justice System. If we took all Asians charged with a severe misdemeanor and upgraded it to a felony, or maybe just took cases where the jury was split by less than two jurors and switched them to voting guilty for a quota system, we could have a more fair and equitable society.

Perhaps the evidence and collection system we use in police procedures is inherently racist. Maybe if we started not allowing certain type of Discovery, such as Alibis, in cases where Asians are on trial, or perhaps allowed special interrogation methods to more fairly achieve a confession, we could fix this gross disparity in lower education.

Further still, when a white collar crime is discovered, we must look at the pool of potential suspects and make sure at least a few Asian Americans are included so that they have a fair chance to get their life ruined by a felony charge and having their financial licenses revoked.

Police Gang units need to start pressuring Crips and Bloods, Neo-Nazis and Latin Kings to expand their application processes to include a certain amount of Asian Americans and to make sure to allow and bring Asian Americans to gang activities, even if they come from a culture where they see such behavior as gross or morally objectionable.

After school drug programs need to be implemented in Asian Communities to make sure Asian students have access to drugs such as heroin and cocaine.

Back in the 1940s, a program was introduced by which all Japanese Americans were put in a temporary prison environment, and this early progressive concept was phased out as part of a larger program cutting government jobs, of which these prisons were one. Worse still, from this Program came the 442 Infantry Regiment, an all  Japanese – ethnicity Army fighting unit which to this day holds the record for the most highly decorated unit in American combat history even while their families at home were in prison, which seems to prove that throwing large groups of people in prison works.

Perhaps we could start by throwing the families of American Military into prison while they are serving, or take a certain percent of each enlisted or commissioned Asian American and incarcerating them to get our numbers on par.
While we are at it, we need more Latino Oscar winners. Maybe we could make a film about Asians going to prison, having all the asians played by Latinos so they could get a few oscars, and then make biopics of the Latinos who won Oscars and have them played by Asian Americans who have recently been released from Prison to help them get back on their feet following release and in the process win a few Oscars.

 

 

 

 

 

Bob Ross

 

The pig

Today was my first experiment with what I hope to achieve.

In need of a new hobby, and partly inspired by my journey to the edge of the universe at the Monet Gallery and seeing how his early works developed.

This inspired me. As you know, dear reader, I live in the middle of Scenic Midland. And by god, all the talented Artists are in Marfa. There’s nobody to capture the grace and majesty of scenic Midland. Not so anymore, no now this guy is gonna do it. This requires a complicated mix of the romanticism of Commerce and Industry plus Mater Nature.

The easiest way to do this, it seems, is to rip off Bob Ross. No veteran of this, it seems a bit crazy at first, but I went out for now and made my first adventure buying a crappy intro to watercolors painting set. Theres a lot in here I don’t need that bad, and some pastels I will never use again unless smething really crazy happens.

So in some research I found out that Bob picked up his quick style from Bill Alexander, a German who served in the Wehrmacht. Alexander reminds me just a bit of the Penguin from those batman films.

 

Anyway, I sat down and ripped off Mystic Mountain.

 

What I need to do next is copy the Bill Alexander and decide which technique I appreciate.

 

Another thing that people fail to notice is the hidden rivalry between Bob Ross and Bill Alexander fans.

Both served in the Army, though Ross was a Master Sergeant. But i really need to get to the art store and get a better knife and 2 inch brush for happy trees.

The Basics of Travel

Right now I’m working out how much I want to drive from here to Atlanta in February versus other and more easy ways to transit.

738 Miles from Dallas, 1111.5 from Midland.

I like to value my free time at $10 per hour.

The drive from Midland would be $160 in labor and back is $320, a From dallas we are in the 70s.

I can get a flight on Spirit Air for 77 from Dallas. That’s affordable.

Now, lets just go and look at how much travel costs mechanically versus psychologically.

Fuel wise, my vehicle gets around 27 miles per gallon. his means a there and back trip costs $329 on fuel alone. Federal Fuel Allowance, the amount the federal gov’t reimburses people is .53 cents per mile, but the government is inefficient by a factor of ten. Its probably only like 6 cents per mile. $13. If it was 25 cents per mile it would be $53.

 

So Right now a 111.5 mile trip is going to cost me, in just gasoline, around $300. Meaning a plane flight round trip Is going to have to be less than that. All full round trips via plane actually take 12 hours, meaning I could literally drive from Midland to Atlanta and theoretically get there before a plane. Counting luggage and security it would definitely be fast to drive.  Also it is impossible to be delayed or otherwise miss a connection.

 

What’s it gonna be, driving to Dallas cuts the 173 round trip cost of tickets out. That is for sure the cheapest connection. It takes 5 hours to get to Dallas from Midland.  That $88 fuel cost for there and back to Midland and Dallas makes this a cost breaking point of $230. A flight round trip of less than this makes it efficient. I can get a flight on AA from the Airport in Dallas for $192.

Amtrack has no return path. But there’s a catch: Greyhound can get me there for $89. There and back for $160. But I miss work for 2 days instead of 1.  I’m going to miss Friday no matter what so I don’t count that on any travel plans.

The bus Ride back from Atlanta to Dallas is $43.

Midland to Dallas for 44, fly from Dallas to ATL for 90, and fly back for another 90 or Bus back for 40 then drive to Midland for 44.

Essentially, Drive and Fly 132 there(miss 1 day of work), and then return is either another 132 or 84(taking 20 hours longer) which is not worth it.

Or I can Slum hardcore, taking the Greyhound to Dallas for 40, fly for 65, then catch the Bus all the way back to Midland for 89.

This reduces my round trip cost to 105+89 = 194. This is now $106 cheaper than driving.

I need to mull over this for a few more days.

Though I arrive in Dallas at 6 and take the Train to the Airport at 6:30, it just makes me think that I’m running a serious risk having to make a connection from Bus to Plane

It really seems like the goal here is to make sure I get to dallass and catch the plane.

Drive to Dallas plus a flight actually gets as low as 88(round trip drive) + 91 round trip for a total of 177. This is half the cost. That’s a solid lock-in deal. Plus I could, theoretically, get back in time for work on Friday, essentially negating every barrier so far on cost.

 

The FB, AYE

russia-with-love

 

Today about 4 hours ago a friend of mine put up a FACEBOOK link about the FBI’s conclusive report on hacking the election by Russia, which is the worst James Bond plot yet.

Naturally my first comment was to request if there was a link to the actual source, henceforth referred to as ‘fake news’ because it seemed more appropriate to read that than the New York “We Got it Totally Wrong On November 8th and Still haven’t Learned a Thing” Times.

Now, my buddies facebook mentions a 13 page report, and I read it. To save you time, it’s only 5 pages of material, the rest is ‘how to keep your grandpa from getting computer viruses.

The first page is pretty rad, it has  a handy disclaimer at the top which basically says, “if we report that our agent overheard this information at a local MacDonalds, this should not be interpreted as an endorsement of the Mickey D brand or imply that Ronald McDonald is a Government Spy” etc.

 

Then it goes on to lay out via a bunch of documents he following conclusion “a guy named Guccifer claimed to have hacked the DNC and he probably did.”

They go in depth describing the method. It looks like at least 38 people tried to do it. I don’t trust the US Government on anything so when they say “using the russian hacking method” I’m thinking, “These are just people who are good hackers and they all work the same so the Gov’t Intel are just blaming Russia to make it sound like something better than ‘hey a prank caller joked past our security and has access to everything” which is literally how 99% of hacks happen.  Its called social engineering and its how that jerk friend of yours always seems to have a girlfriend.

Then they go list a bunch of names, not really thinking that in this world of TOR and all the other IP spoofing networks, there’s no way we’ll ever know who can do it.

Having friends, or used to have friends, who worked the darknet and definitely were what you would call a hacker, there’s nothing here other than the warning, “Hey, one of you idiots picked up the phone to a guy pretending to be John Podesta having lost his log in information and you told him the reset credentials.”

They show some scary lines of code but that kind of information can be script kiddied. The getting in part, that’s the mistake, once someone is in they can do whatever they want, and it strikes me as hilarious that they don’t mention HOW the entrance happened. This means it was not some sort of high tech entry, but rather something so embarrassingly stupid they don’t let on.

Then I checked the new york times article, and it just showed the report. Basically fake news couldn’t find someone to put a spin on it because in order to understand what the DHS and FBI are saying you can’t help but laugh at how dumb people are. Plus there’s literally no connection to the Russians other than, because we’ve been dropped hardcore sanctions and destroying their economy, they are the likely originator.

We invaded Iraq with less.

Fun fact, the massive retaliation promised by the US government is a DDOS attack against MATT DRUDGE which is hilarious since his ‘fake news’ is just an aggregation of ‘real news’ articles.

On the subject of Drudge Report, here’s a gem from The onion, describing how Drudge was hacked 18 years ago.