Can You Date Multiple Women at Once and Be Christian



Yesterday at Bible Study a couple of friends and I started chatting and one of them sugested I write about it.


The concept was discipleschip. That got me thinking about what it means to make a good disciple. Discipleship, to the myTimmy next to me, doesn’t really matter enough to talk about.  Then he asked how things are going. I told him about my Grad School plans.

Back in 6th Grade we had this thing called, “Going Steady” which meant that you were going to advance from dating to being a solidly one partner deal. Only one person would get a can of Soda Pop or that extra snickers bar.  It was pretty intense.

But Jacob had four wives. In Genesis over the course of two chapters he goes from 0 to 2.  Wife in ancient Hebrew, Isha, has the same meaning as woman.

There is very little in the Bible about Courtship, in fact most of the time the dating phase seems very brief if existent at all.

Now we would all like to wander like John Denver:

But my experience seems to be that hastiness leads us more to :

And thus we wander into :
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
 -Proverbs 4:23

Bring to my m ind the inevitable relationship between guards with swords and shields and our own hearts, turning what should be this:

Into this:

But we are called to be forever joyful, pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit, do not despise utterance of Prophecy, but test them all; hold on to what is good, and abstain from every form of evil. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-20

So lets assume every possible date you go on has the attached implication of X, where X is, (if everything goes perfectly from now to the end of time marriage is the inevitable result.)  Y would be “turning me down says you are not worthy of my attention”.

To accept X in only one instance at a time implies Y to all people you refuse to date on a multiple in this period. That would be like a financial trader putting all his money on one stock in a simple buy. What we are looking for until we have the exclusive boundary of marriage is an index fund, and a complex portfolio of Options. There will be fluctuations in our relationships as with our Friends. Case in point, my buddy Brent is pissed at me and will be for the foreseeable future. instead of trying to fix things up with him I’m just letting him take some midol and chill out for a bit until he gets his head screwed on straight. Until then I’ve got plenty of other people to drink beer and go play golf with.

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature[a] God,
    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death—
        even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
    and gave him the name that is above every name,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father.

13, for it is God who works in you, to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

Wew. Got that out of the way.

So Christ had 12 disciples, and if we look at dating as a form of mutual discipleship in the movement towards uniting as one body, then it makes sense to have as many disciples as possible. Obviously being Christian there are strict rules on what kind of discipleship you can have, and the inevitable clash with hookup culture is thus that no amount of clarification can avoid some uncomfortable discussions, but at the same time exclusivity ads a pressure of identity morphing and disallows a key aspect of free market capitalism: Competition.

Now that we have a solid scriptural basis here, the only solution is to go ahead and run it by my date tonight and see how well she takes it. I will report back if still alive.


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