Gravity happens to apply 9.8 M/s/s acceleration on all things. A lead weight and a rubber ducky are equally pulled by gravity.  That, my friends, is reality. If you take two people, and drop them off of a tower, they will accelerate at the same rate, reach the same speeds, and land at the same velocity, reaching 0 Miles per hour at about the same time. If one of them is ‘keeping it real’ this will not in any way affect their speed, and if one of them is completely delusional, they will be equally impacted.  So to start with, take any notion of ‘keeping it real’ and toss it out the window. 9.8 M/s/s.

Now, this world has a fetish for identity, a quest in the west to find the true self and be the most authentic person possible. True to you, as it were. On the surface this sounds great, but that’s a really dangerous path that can lead to some insane conclusions. For starters, let’s begin with the physical sense of being a creature whose genetics have scientifically imprinted a sense of true self in the physical make up of our beings. Sounds pretty authentic, right? Yeah, until a kid has depression or manic phases or a birth defect. While not all mental conditions are bad(as a teacher I am always concerned when autistic students are criticized for ‘not talking’ because frankly, I talk wayyy too much). Or, to go completely off the rails, what if you were born with an inherent desire to become a serial killer? The idea of picking up a hitchhiker on the side of the road and putting them in three different trashbags hits a deep sense of purpose in your life that sincerely agrees with every cell of your body? Not good amigo.

So after trashing the physical sense of identity(I realize I left out physical form, which is a good way to identify true self until you get into a serious car accident), let’s set our guns on the purely psychic sense of identity. Identify, if you will, yourself as a champion weightlifter. Tell yourself that you are the strongest person on earth, do it for a whole week, look in the mirror and think, “I can deadlift 1,000 pounds” every single day. Then after week of this, go to the gym, put about half a ton of plates on a bar and try to lift it up. There is obviously some connection between an authentic true self and physical form.

That or there is a sense of identity that exists completely disconnected from both our physical and psychic sense, which would basically be God, but we don’t have time for that right now, we’re looking at the individual self.

How do we determine the fact that we have parts of our identity that are entirely but not entirely of our physical form? You could move to Sedona Arizona, eat some cactus or lick a jungle toad and document your findings. Maybe look at circumcision, where you get your dingy whacked in order to demonstrate a separation from the normal way of the world. Baptism also works, in an immersion of the senses under water, a change in pressure and deadening of sound as a symbol of rebirth into a new form(even when the old one is essentially unharmed, unscathed, or different. One of the easiest ways would be to review thousands of religious texts over the years and look for a reasonable explanation. Obviously Arjuna and the Archer come to mind. The story goes that Arjuna shows up to three people and hands them a bow and arrow, commanding each one to attempt to strike an eagle on top of a post through the eye with an arrow. The first man takes the bow and Arjuna asks what he sees. The man begins to describe the sky, the weather, the flow of the wind through the grass. Arjuna just takes the bow and asks the next man, the fellow talks about something else but I forgot because I didn’t get an A in that class, and the final guy is asked what he sees, and he states, “the eye of the eagle” and Arjuna says, “take the shot.”

Failing that, the easiest metaphor would be a spin on a highway. When you are driving down the highway, and an obstacle such as a baby or 1998 Mercury Grand Marquis pops up, you need to get out of the way, and this can cause your vehicle to lose traction with the road and begin to spin. Now, assuming our goal is to recover from this spin and get back on track, we have to figure out how to deal with the physics of the world around us in a way that we can handle in a psychic manner to impress upon the forces we actually have control to get back on track.

Scientists have told me the worst thing to do is slam the breaks. That is, in a moment where your personal identity is in tail spin, attempting to toss a wrench in every moving process can lead to disaster. Likewise, the brutish attempt to force yourself out of the problem by slamming the accelerator and strong arming the wheel all the way over can lead to over correction or equally disastrous results.

The way to recover from a skid, according to the experts in the world, requires 2 steps. First, pick a distant target on the horizon that will be the point of reference. For us in our attempt to be a pure authentic self, the goal here makes perfect sense. What is the reference point? What year is it? 2017? The time is based on distance from the death of Christ. Not to be preachy, but Jesus is a reference point that has not changed in about 2017 years. So you pick a reference point that is not going to change so that you can gauge the effects of your spin. From here, with your focus on the unchanging reference point, you can being to take stock of your movement in the moment of Crisis(Christis, hahah, get it?) and in the vehicular analogy, determine if your front or back wheels have lost traction.

In an authentic self way, lets just say, “has our physical or psychic self lost traction?” Are we getting too fat? Are we getting too obsessive over our keto diet and Amazonian Berry Juice? Do we have enough sleep? In this case, the solution is to release a little bit of control, ease off the gas and transfer a bit more weight to the front of our vehicle, the mind. A bit more time organizing the headspace and point it to our reference point will get us on track. The alternative is our headspace going crazy. Overthinking? Hyper-Analyzing, bringing in too much baggage from that time Stacy dumped you in middle school and it’s just like what Lucrecia is doing now, or even being so manic about the next big thing that in our effort to stay positive we’re just jumping from one positive sugar rush to the next? Maybe it’s time to take stock and reposition ourselves, go for a walk outside, and move closer to a calm peaceful center.

The idea of an authentic self may be possible alone, but the studies of the effects on prisoners from solitary confinement seem to indicate isolation has damaging effects. Now, I’m  not sure pet cats count as people, but if the goal is an authentic self, it seems like the surest way to get there is to spend at least a little bit of time organizing your trip there with some people who have the same destination, and in the moment of a spin, the same reference point. 9.8 m/s/s.



About two weeks ago a guy said I should write a piece called, “When the Bible is Hate Speech” and since this guy is not just a friend he’s also, “My Boss” it seemed like a really good idea to do that. A really good idea.

So at first it took me a few minutes to pound out a few hundred words at 4am which amounted to no more than a sort of sleep deprived manifesto. Out of this it dawned on me that  for my friends who teach in Public School, mentioning Faith in Christ in the classroom is one of the scariest subjects. Even when a kid asks, “what church do you go to” there’s a hesitance for fear that you will be put in a position where other students may discover that, in fact, God exists and loves them infinitely.

This can get you in trouble. A few years ago at a stand up comedy club the guy on stage was cracking jokes and asked “If God is so powerful how come he never fools anybody?” and because of my high functioning autism the notion of a rhetorical question seemed alien so I answered him, “What about Jacob?” and then he asked what I meant? Well, I pointed out that god used Jacob “the Deciever” to mislead and double deal a few people. Then the club owner barged up and told me to get out, which was awkward since my date was out getting a beverage and my friends were watching. On my way out the man on stage as laying into me and saying all kinds of mean things about God and I couldn’t help but point out that maybe the guy was misdirecting his anger and that some of the things he blames on God are due to other factors like not getting enough sleep.

The club owner ran towards me at this point, and my friends thought he was going to tackle me but what I’m trying to say is there are people who get really angry at the idea of an invisible entity that loves them.

Mostly because that person has rules. Like how dare a God exist, create everything in existence, and have the audacity to grant us free will, and also give rules and suggest that they are the greatest way to live life? Worse still, that there might be rules with consequences!

Sure, “quit jumping on the bed or you are Grounded” is not as extreme as “believe in Christ or be cast into the fire and burned” but you can’t make an omelete without, you know, heat.

When the Bible is Hate Speech

Last week a friend suggested I read up on the Nashville Statement(It gets good at Article 7). This sounded like some rather small affair worth ignoring. Then someone on Salon called it bigoted homophobia and a response was issued called “The Denver Statement.”

If, like me, none of you had a clue what was going on, here’s basically where we are at.  A bunch of pastors, priests, deacons, etc, have signed on a document they put together as sort of a ‘bill of rights’ to what sex means to Christians*

The idea is: the goal of sex as a family furthering adventure exists mostly for procreation and exclusively intended by God for the use by one of two genders interacting with the other gender. Basically, it’s what you learned in sex-ed if you were born before 1985. For anyone born after that, it’s a hate crime.

So, HuffPost, WashingtonPost, New York Times and CBN walk into a bar. “Ladies first” says the bartender. Already half the crew are offended, but Rosaria Butterfield of CBN walks up to the Bar and says, “After converting to Jesus my previous life lost it’s luster and now I am happy” and everyone else tears their hair out and starts screaming.

The Nashville Statement pokes at the obvious mistakes that people make in pre-marital relationships, and that all such union falls into the category of sin, another hate crime.

The statement of 14 articles re-iterates that none of the listed offenses to God are enough to straight up ban someone from being allowed into heaven or even to be Christian, but rather that, in the same way that encouraging an alcoholic friend to go get tanked up in the back of the church during service, straight up affirmation and celebration of lifestyles seen as ‘not good’ in the official rulebook of God(tm) does not compute.

The important thing here that makes this mean nothing to atheists or for their lives is the reiteration that this set of concepts and rules for being Christian* apply only to Christians*.

That is, if you want to play tennis, go ahead and play tennis, but if  you show up to the baseball game with a tennis racket, you are going to get funny looks because you are in a different game with clearly defined different rules. The Nashville Statement basically affirms that you have 3 strikes and must run from 1st to 2nd to 3rd and then Home in order to get a point. The Denver Statement states that if you want to step up to the plate with a Tennis Racket and try to get a bunt against a 90mph fastball this is totally okay and will go really, really well.  In fact, go ahead and cut right across the diamond from 1st to 3rd while you are at it.

Hopefully that makes sense.

Probably not.

To give you an idea of how this whole crazy argument stretches out, here’s some links.

Sarah Butterfield on how Jesus changed her Ways.

A Writer From HuffPo Freaking Out to Draw Attention to her New Book.

An Article About Robots Being able to Tell if You are Gay or Not as a Reward for Reading this Far

An Anglican Giving a Very Anglican(boring) Explanation of Why he Signed On

Salon Going Ape

Now, having argued about this issue with friends, it seems strange they would throw the word hate around when basically we live in a world where any sexualized lifestyle is celebrated and thrown a small parade. So these people have come out of the closet as ‘encouraging their friends to be straight cisgendered married couples’ and that’s apparently just about the most shocking thing ever and should be condemned.

Furthermore that a bunch of priests have the audacity to suggest a 14 year old boy not have his penis chopped off and hormonally pumped full of estrogen should not shock anyone, but it does.

*this is the point of contention.

When the Bible is Hate Speech

Right now in America the big fight is over DACA, or “illegals get to stay” and luckily the Bible has the definitive word on this, what to do with a person who is in the right place(America) but not the right way(without Documentation).

Matthew 22

11 “But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes. 12 He asked, ‘How did you get in here without wedding clothes, friend?’ The man was speechless.

13 “Then the king told the attendants, ‘Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

14 “For many are invited, but few are chosen.”

So let’s assume a nice even handed world where America is heaven and Mexico is hell. Is if fair to cast people out who seem by all means but for one simple measure to deserve a place at the table? Well, when the Bible is hate speech, it is. Not everyone is chosen for citizenship.

Deferred Action for Childhood Adults is for people who have shown up at the table without the proper gown(documentation) and have no real answer for why they don’t.  Now you may want to take a broader mindset to this, but again:

Matthew 7:13

13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Now obviously a lot of people who are wrong are going to have a problem with this. But by sending these faux Americans home, they can spread the gospel message of the American Dream in their home countries! Speaking English will allow them a leg up against their peers.

Which brings us to American Exceptionalism. If America was never great, why do they want to stay? All those rallies and riots with Mexican flags in the air and American flags being burned, we didn’t see the DACA coalition opposing that mess.

They came in with a riot, not like the black man, whose history in America has been born aloft on the Cross of the lynching tree. According to Donald Trump, the Mexican comes to rob, kill and destroy(though some, I assume, are good people).

When the Bible is Hate Speech,

“If a man’s testicles are crushed or his penis is cut off, he may not be admitted to the assembly of the LORD.” (Deuteronomy 23:1)

Pretty clearly forbids the horrific act of sexual reassignment surgery ONLY FOR MEN. It is, infact, righteous and holy for women to be transformed surgically into men. The other way around, however, separates the patient from the Lord, this if forbidden. Thus, theologically, not only should Brad Cooper of England have been banned from getting his first reassignment surgery, but his second one should have been final.

On that same subject, Hillary Clinton, who rightfully will never serve a day behind bars as was decided by FBI Director Comey before she ever testified.. Because Whoever covers an offense seeks love (Proverbs 17:9)

The point is, it is, as North Korea will soon learn, possible to go so long without repenting that the eternal hellfire of B-1 Lancer JDAM oblivion awaits.  Then the B-52H will swing by for a second coming and turn your whole DMZ into molten rock.