Why These Are the Two Best Candidates for President Ever

A long long time ago, right after the Egyptian revolution, the BBC was interviewing people, and I shall never forget the fellow standing in Tahriri square stating something in what could have been any of six languages.

“We were told we were going to have a democracy, and now we have to choose between two people and I don’t like either of them.”

Younger me laughed, yup, that’s democracy.

But this year is the opposite, in 2016 with Trump and Clinton, I have decided that both candidates are insanely good and both will lead to a unique and amazing experience.

The first way to reach this conclusion is to turn off the head venom and focus instead on the positive aspects of each candidate.

Call me crazy, but negative campaign ads are basically just the worst possible news ever put on the radio by a guy who hates you. Essentially, there’s no way to drown out the bias. The human mind naturally thinks critically, and will subconsciously identify things that seem out of place or off putting, that’s why people spend hours tearing apart Rachel and Biff’s dating relationship on friends. (Biff may not be a character but I’ve never watched the show)

So, rather than melodramatics: on with the positive aspects of each candidates.

Let’s just alternate them, one and one. Starting with Experience.

Hillary Clinton, though she’s only been elected to one office in her life,(by contrast, I myself have been elected Scout Patrol Leader more than she has been voted into anything else) still has one more election under her belt than Donald J. Trump.

And she’s been in the White House, yeah, it wasn’t like, doing anything, but anyone in the real world can say that just a little bit of fly on the wall experience goes a long way. Obviously Trump has been in a decision making role working with advisors and what not but I think Hillary has done that also as Secretary of State.

This does lead into one big difference, the for profit mechanic See, in Government, if you run out of money, you just wait around until next year and vote for a raise or vote for a Tax increase. In business, what happens is you go out of business. He’s been in the hot seat, and from sitting around as a fly on the wall myself, I’ve seen that there are some strengths to being decisive.

So you have Trump who has done a lot of really crazy business things with inside upside down weirdo wackadinghoy tax inversions and stuff, but at the end of the day they were all legal and worked out and for people in 495 of his corporate ventures, his people got paid and sent their kids to school. Besides,, I have friends who borrowed millions from their dads and lost it.

. And then you have Hillary’s work as a Senator, where the bills she put are: 3. She renamed a post office, renamed a highway, and designated a historic site. She co sponsored some bills she was asked to join in on, and it sounds like her time was spent not stepping on toes, not irritating anybody(Ted Cruz, who I voted, for cannot say this),  but these bills, the ones she took initiative on don’t really do a whole lot and at the same time are pretty milquetoast.

So you have a decisive risk taker who has had things work out pretty darn well, and a back room dealer who has managed to not really drive anyone too far up a wall.

So if you are down for a lot of risk and change, vote Trump, which is sort of the equivalent of lighting a firecracker and throwing it in a mailbox, or Hillary, which is sort of like picking your least favorite retail middle management shoulder looker over and putting them in charge because what you need at this point is consistency.

Again, for my money, the way to pick in simple terms is to imagine you live in an HOA and you are trying to figure out who you want in Charge of the HOA and that helps clarify things a lot.

Everything else is just two sides of the same coin, like the ending scene of Animal Farm where the Pigs and the Farmers both play 4 aces at the same time, and the animals, looking through the clouded windows, can’t tell who is who.

Make sure to vote in November. 🙂

There’s More than you See

If I were a lawyer explaining away the Donald Trump controversy regarding the tape from 10 years ago, this is how I’d start.

 

The first recorded instance of organized violence by humankind dates back 7,000 yeas ago. The Talheim Death Pit, discovered in 1983 does little to disconfirm Raymond Dart’s killer ape hypothesis. This is the discovery of a mass grave from what looks like a battle site, except the lack of defensive wounds (no scars on bones of the forarms caused by stone tools as the victims put their hands up in defense) and dead women and children as well as men mean, uh, something.

Monkeys have proven history of conflict as well, Jane Goodall herself recounted witnessing a war between two tribes that shook her to the core.

On a continuum where carving a hole in someones head with a flint napped rock is on the list of options, being goaded into a conversation about models with Billy Bush is not at all on the list of bad things. Transcript

The woman in that transcript admits she was totally flirting with him.

Now, as my girlfriends who are twin models in Canada will tell you, guys talk a big game.

So before we go and make any harsh hot hasted foot steps down a dark path of sexual predators and the unabomber, lets start with what we know.

Check it out! I’m Arnold Schwarzeneggar! Here’s a clip of some incredibly insane statements. In his later years, he commented on how this was just a marketing effort, where he would say incredibly outrageous things to get people to notice. Almost as if every single person on earth says things that are a little insane to get attention.

So maybe this is a tempest in a teapot. And as Mel Brooks will tell you, the concept of “rich, powerful women let you get away with stuff” is repeated again and again and again in his “History of the World, Part 1”. It’s Good to Be the King

Is it gross? Does it offend everyone’s morals? Has it been going on for thousands of years?

 

 

 

 

 

Clowns

Right now across the country here are a bunch of teenagers freaking out about Clowns. This is just a normal small case of Coulraphobia gon insane.

 

The advent of this came in Ohio where a lady wa attacked in a clown mask and EVERY SINGLE SCHOOL IN THE STATE GOT A DAY OFF.

 

Okay, so now, just think, in a teenagers mind, “clown hysteria=day off”

 

Ask about all the other things kids are making a deal about, gang violence, personal safety. This is not about safety. When the same kid who a week ago was suspended for fighting or breaking a bottle and threatening a fellow student is this week cowering in fear of a ‘dangerous scary clown’, my fish tale detecto-meter goes into the red.

 

The worst thing is kids are selling their parents on it. Oh, right, your kid who smokes cigarrettes and sells drugs is concerned about CLOWN SAFETY??

Please, next you will be telling me a dog ate his homework.