XTREME Climate Change

As of this morning the previously unknown town of  Pawnee is now the center of a bunch of scientists and pot smoking liberals with dredlocks and a pet ferret named “Koan” to hold a drum circle and decry the devastation we are doing to this planet. To summarize, an earthquake hit, 5.4 on the Richter Scale.

First off, how do you know the Planet likes having oil under its surface. Anyone who has ever squeezed a blackhead or had a cyst drained knows how good it feels. Maybe these earthquakes are mother nature’s way of saying “Aaaaaaah that feels better” and is returning the favor by rewarding the thousands of foundation repair specialists with solid employment for the next six months?

Consider Mohr Coulomb failure. To save you a bunch of time and Greek letters, Mohr Coulomb Failure is the reason you can’t get greased up and go rock climbing..  It is the reason you chalk your hands in the weight room, and it is why slipping in the bathtub kills some 3,000 red blooded Americans every year. Friction, baby.

Now, a bunch of people like to point the finger at Hydraulic Fracturing and the wastewater it produces, as if George P Mitchell woke up with his 8th grade education and invented what a bunch of egg heads couldn’t for the sole purpose of destroying earth. Hogwash, the man had a plan and the wastewater wells inject at a depth thousands of feet above where earthquakes originate. It would be like saying slipping and falling in the bathtub caused a water main to burst underground. Total garbage.

I live in Midland. You know how many earthquakes happen per year in Midland, a whole lot less than in Oklahoma. And consider some 192 of the 400 odd drilling operations in the US happen in the Permian Basin, we should be putting San Francisco to shame right now.  As it is, I’m still fighting to get the Village People more airtime at the Rockhounds game.

On the subject of the Village People, they wrote an amazing song called “In the Navy” and that brings us, Naturally, to Tropical Storm Hermine. Source.

Look, climate change and the giant ice sheet the size of Scotland breaking off the Arctic Icepack means one thing, awesome surfing.

Stepping into liquid means that as the oceans rise we gain the increasing chance that a giant ice shelf will break off and the wash will hit land right when one of the increasingly prevalent tropical storms does, and if this is timed properly with an increasingly likely earthquake, a tsunami could meet the wake of a collapsed ice shelf and get the wind of a tropical storm behind it and make the most gnarly surfing wave EVER. You could hang 10 from Crockett to Utah. That would be awesome. That would be tubular.

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