The End of the Whirled.

About this time in 64 AD, the Roman Emperor Nero either set the fire himself or, was the hero who helped the refugees escape from it. Classic politics, folks.

The visual of Emperor dancing on a hill playing the violin lit from below by the flickering inferno, dancing with ash on his toga, feet trampling the night time grass makes for great TV. Which brings us to the next great enemy of Democracy: Title IX and Olympic Volleyball.

On August 11, 2016, Kayla Harrison beat a Slovenian to advance to the finals in Judo. If you’ve never seen the sport, think of two lion cubs fighting. Now, the NBC people decide to show inconsequential semi quarter final prelim men’s Sport Nobody Cares About Beach Volleyball instead of a Woman who could Unlike Rhonda Rousey easily have a chance of winning in a fight with a guy around 180lbs. Seriously three hours of Dollhauser serving on sand and then “oh by the way here’s the last six seconds of the Gold Medal Match for Kayla.” They showed the full semifinal match earlier, but none of the final?

It goes to show why forced coverage is a a terrible idea. In order to not seem sexist, the NBC producers are trying to show equal coverage of Men’s Volleyball so it’s not suspicious when they place four hours of women in bikinis during primetime. But then you get the stupid paradox that, in the name of feminism and equality, it would actually be better to show Kayla Harrison in her Gold Medal match, but you can’t because you’re pretending to care about beach volleyball. Let’s just admit: Beach Volleyball is an eye candy event and that the women got together and in secret sorta agreed that in order to get more coverage, it would help if all the beach volleyball athletes, um, uh, got less coverage.

To that end my female friends say they would care about Men’s beach Volleyball more if the men didn’t wear shirts.

So in order to not seem sexist, we miss out on Kayla Harrison winning a really high stakes Gold Medal Match, and instead of a sport of empowerment we get dudes in the sand. Not even a medal match.

So if we could admit that everyone is just a little bit sexist, we could cut away from this Volleyball and show the actually impressive sports match up without *breaking* the sort of unspoken Excessiquality Culture we live in.

That’s not to say equality is anything other than important. Somewhere between allowing women to vote and refusing to show a woman win the Gold Medal in Judo because you also showed a lot of womens’ Beach Volleyball, there is a balance. I mean there have to be some rules, we aren’t Anarchists, after all. That’s why sports. Even contact sports have rules. There are boundaries in Beach Volleyball, and there are touch pads in swimming and you have to fight unarmed in Judo(no shivs allowed) and pay attention to right-of-way in some Fencing weapons, but we have to allow that sometimes things are against the rules for stupid reasons.

 

 

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