Okay, so last night I went out at 1AM to snag some Pokemon and I scared a guy who was, you guessed it, so engrossed in his hunt for Pokemon that he didn’t Poke-notice me poke-cycling up to him and he almost Pokemond himself as he Poke-jumped in Poke-terror. Then we discussed the evenings hunt, while he schooled me on tactics, I realized here I was, 1:20 AM, standing next to this sketchy guy four inches away and if he had any nefarious intent, my guard was dropped, not looking at him. If he had decided to crack me upside the head that would have been it. Instead I’m here, now, to comment.
3 Sentence Rundown: Yesterday Boeing banned employees from playing on the worksite, Arlington National Cemetery has requested people to stop wandering around the interred veterans. Then there are Universities welcoming the craze, and doctors being sad sacks warning about injury from ‘going outside’.
I’m one of those losers who runs around outside for exercise and to enjoy the scenery. On recent lap around White Rock Lake, I noticed a simply enormous surge in people outside walking around. From this single day I have decided that PokemonGo is the best thing ever and I’m for it, it should be allowed everywhere to the extent that if you can sneak into Area51 to catch a Charzard and escape undetected that shouldn’t be a crime and you cannot be prosecuted.
The app makes people walk around outside and look at things. This is unequivocally good. The benefits of exercise alone justifies any and all injuries that happen. This does not extend to people driving around in cars from stop to stop, this is ethically equivalent to drive by shootings and gang violence, a cruel twist on social interaction and misappropriating our collective social experience in a way that degrades society and everything we as Americans stand for. It is very good and joyful thing that the Second World War ended in surrender from the Emperor of Japan otherwise there may not have been a Japan to rebuild, to invent not Toyota or the Prius, but PokemonGO, to take youth out of doors to enjoy green grass, concrete, sunburn, bugbites, snakebites and this Walt Whitman verse with appropriate substitution.
“I like your interest in sports ball, chiefest of all poke-ball particularly: poke-ball is our game: the American game: I connect it with our national character. Sports take people out of doors, get them filled with oxygen generate some of the brutal customs (so-called brutal customs) which, after all, Poketend to habituate people to a necessary physical stoicism. We are some ways a dyspeptic, nervous Poke-set: anything which will repair such losses may be regarded as a blessing to the race. We want to go out and howl, swear, run, jump, wrestle, even fight, if only by so doing we may improve the guts of the Poke-people: the guts, vile as guts are, divine as Poke-guts are!
-Walt ‘Blastoise’ Whitman 1888
This is all. I cannot top that.