Lion El Richie

If you needed another reason to hate dentists you need look no further than Zimbabwe (8,978 miles)

Outside of the fact that our master hunstman must now escape the the clutches of a despotic third world hell hole, on the run with a high profile and a history offlaunting the law, this is the best news on the face of the earth.

It  brings up a good question: what is sportsmanship? Does it really count as a bow and arrow kill if you have to chase an animal 40 hours and finally bring it down with a rifle?

What are permits?

The best single issue in this whole mess is the ‘but it was legal’ argument. I have plenty of friends and I’m sure you do to who have fallen back on the “but it is legal” excuse. For instance, if  the person in front of you drops their wallet and its on the ground and they keep walking, you can pick it up and its yours, totally legal. You can cheat on your wife, marry siamese twins and divorce only one of them, and literally flay a chicken alive for poultry food purposes and it is totally 100% legal.

Hopefully, everyone who ever reads this finds at least one of the preceding options to be distasteful.

This is because “legal” really means, “Any less than this and we literally have to throw you in jail to keep you away from others.” From paying minimum wage to spiking a recovering alcoholics drink with vodka, there are a plethora of things that are totally, 100% crystal clear legal but are totally reprehensible and should never happen.

Whats more, not only is it “totally legal” it is also, “totally legal… in zimbabwe.”

So before you do anything ask yourself, “Is this legal in Zimbabwe” and then ask a second question, “Am I going to look like a putz if I do it anyway.”

I mean our Dentist wanted to really impress people, he’d have hunted a whole pride of lions and killed a female with a knife. It’s the female lion that does the hunting anyway. Then also he’d have some experience escaping a murderous predatory mob . He could really use that experience now.

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