First and Best to the Lord

I’ve always loved to take random Bible verses and just hone in on them until they are meaningless.

This is a classical example of “Give to the LORD from your wealth And from the first of all your produce” which is probably paraphrased a few other times in the Book, but in this case, it is from Proverbs 3:9.

Now, let’s say you want to open a toothpick warehouse, this would be a good chance to approach your house of God with an offer of your exclusive toothpicks for the lowest price you can afford to do it, hopefully free. The people there will say, “aww that’s nice” and indulge you because that’s what churches do. Churches are all about indulgences.

I’ve used this in business and found there to be multiple benefits. For one, in the church, if you are starting up a business thing and you need to wing it, your local church is not going to be very picky they’ll take anything, and won’t mind if you are ‘working out the kinks’ a bit to get things rolling. In my line of work I found my church remarkably helpful in calming my own nerves in making a sale.

Furthermore, it can work as a winnowing fork for the mind. If you are deciding on a business interest to pursue, thinking of ways you can help the Church as a whole first and foremost with the first efforts of your work can draw out whether or not your business needs to exist in the first place. For instance, that twin peaks franchise? Maybe stick with the toothpicks bro.

If what you are about to do has no benefit to God, it’s probably not much good for anyone else!

Then, should your business take off, you don’t have to worry too muh about how to assist the faithful in the works of Christ, because the Lord played such a central part in the inception that, like our love for our parents, we are not easily separated to homage to God. And you get to dump blessings on the folks that helped you.

What’s that? You don’t  believe in God? Great I was there once, but let me ask you this, why do you not protest shaking hands, celebrating birthdays, gathering at funerals, and all the other rituals of life we go through? Why not? I mean you would be curing people of being brainwashed by pointless, illogical things.  Oh, you don’t wanna be a jerk? Then why not do what your forefathers did, go to whatever religious gathering house least bothers you so that nobody gets upset? Oh, right, you don’t want to do something you don’t believe it, which brings us back to shaking hands.

Oh, here it comes, you want evidence. Well, look, when you go the doctor, you are taking on faith that he is a real doctor and the certificate is not forged. Famous Con Artist Ferdinand Demara performed actual real live surgeries before he got caught. Everyone lived.

So unless you literally went to sit in class next to your doctor every day in school there’s a point where you really have no way to prove he is a real doctor. I mean like it or not, every human on earth takes things on faith on a daily basis.

I was chillin out today listening to a guy from Nigeria talking about his work and giving our hearts to God, and it occurred to me that a lot of the atheists I know grew up in homogenous wealthy families and haven’t really had the perspective of listening to what, in a secular sense, amounts to respected educated philosophers from around the world meeting and discussing a common text with those of a completely different cultural background, but I suppose that makes me more close minded than white middle class two cars private school jimmy who has a liberal arts degree from dinglewingle university.



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